“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”
According to research human mind builds 25000 to 50000 thoughts in a day, and the discipline of thoughts creates a person’s personality, because as we think one day becomes same. If we think positive, situation would be the same way. Same like as we think negative. Actions obeys thoughts, we do same what we have in minds. When we do rapidity the same it become tradition. We can’t take it out of our life, our habits only defines our personality. If we think positive, our character would be positive and developed positive habits. If we keep looking for the faults of people we build negative character inside. If we need positive change in our role, then we have to start from thinking.
A man asked me, I always thing positive but always wrong thing happens. I told him to evaluate your thoughts, how do you think? For instance a student brought half glass of water for his teacher in front of class and asked the students how much water is in this glass? Some students said that this is half full, others said half empty. This experiment shows, that those students who said, half full they see things positively, others look at things negatively. You will see what you want to see. Image from unsplash Rick Dekker
How cognitive distortions take place
Mind reading distortion – jump to conclusion
Most common distortion is pre “mind reading”. We automatically think that we know what others think. For example if someone had ignored your call. The negative mind reading is, they don’t want to meet you, even they don’t like to around you. It would really cause of cognitive distortion. When you dig deeper, anxiety depression, will attack on your mind that you are no more special.
One of negative mind thought is automatically “prediction”. For example someone think that he cannot win the race and then he loses it. He would say that ‘I had said that I will lose it’. He will have more impact on negative thought on his mind.
Most common reason negative thoughts are “comparison”. Everyone compare himself with others. It becomes easier to compare through social media. Everyone uploads his best pictures. The viewer thinks that he got net dress, new mobile great style things like that. There is a two kind of comparison upward and downward comparison. (Link another article) Depending on the level of someone’s motivation, he may have the tendency to compare himself with others either in an upward or downward kind of comparison.
Another negative thought is self- blaming. Whenever there is a wrong thing happens. You started blaming yourself, this can cause of feel that you are a failure, looser. It might cause of anxiety low self-esteem. A women was talking to a client when she realized she have to leave work and pick up her daughter at school. By the time she left, and stuck in traffic blocked with commuters and she was twenty minutes late. She blamed herself for taking the call, for letting the time slip by, and for not trying to find another route to the school.
4 Tips to change negative thinking
Start your day positive way
When you up late with a thought you woke up late it would be curse on you, things would be bad to you. Whenever you up stand in front of mirror and say to yourself it would be good day to you. You will make things awesome, you will be surprise how much your day better.
Stay with positive people
Surround yourself with good people who know your worth, so whenever wrong things happen they will encourage you with good fortune. They won’t let you lose your patience. If you stay with negative people just don’t be afraid, think they will teach you a lesson that will help you in future.
Learn from failure
No one is perfect in this world. Everyone make mistakes and get experiences through their failure in multiple ways with multiple people. Don’t ever try to focus on your failure just that doesn’t make any sense. Whenever you fail just think about how you fail, think of what mistake that caused you to fail and don’t repeat that mistake over the next.
Focus on present
Whenever you fail just let it be with your experience. Focus on present what you have. Don’t think of what you loosed. Most negative thoughts generates with recent bad things happened exaggerate of a potential future events. Focus of present moment.
Don’t jump to the conclusion
This Jumping to Conclusions distortion observe as the inaccurate belief that we know what another person is thinking. Indeed, it is possible to have an idea of what others thinking, but this distortion refers to the negative interpretations that we jump to. If you wait for a while to see actual results, it may not the same way you imagining. What if you think so, whom you calling may be stuck somewhere else. He may want to be contact you latter.